Bittersweet thoughts of 1 and 2

It is kind of bittersweet to imagine life with more than just Jeremiah. We have become accustomed to life with one kid. It is nice. We look at these people with more than one and see how much harder life is. At night, if Jeremiah wants to sleep with us, its ok because it is just him. It is easy to go to the park or to a movie or the mall with one kid.
On the other hand, he is spoiled. He knows he is our only little man and the only one for G and Papa and Nana and Pop. He knows how to ask for things and get it.
He is smart, sneaky, and spoiled. I know i contributed much to this, and now i feel the need to do it all the more since in 3 months he will no longer be our center of attention. I almost hate it for him. He doesnt know what is about to happen and i wish there was a way to prepare him.
It makes me sad to watch him play at home by himself, talking to himself and his toys.
I feel almost selfish that I didn't have a child sooner than now for him to play with. I feel like I have deprived him and now his life will be rocked. I know it won't be (I hope) as dramatic as I feel like it could, but it is still easy to see why people have more than 1 kid and close together. I feel like my saying 'I dont have the sanity for more than 1 kid', like I did until recently, was very selfish of me and I should have thought more about him than me.
I cant imagine life with more than one kid right now. We have become used to and comfortable with life this way.
I just hope it goes better than i am expecting. I hope Jeremiah just takes the Big brother role and runs with it. I hope he is a big helper and loves it and doesnt feel like it is what he has to do. I hope we can still show him all the love we have for the past almost 4 years and he doesnt miss a beat. I also hope we love Thomas like we do Jeremiah and Thomas doesnt feel like Jeremiahs life was so much better than his. I'm sure im over thinking this, but it is hard not to.
Yeah, so this is what I think about alot right now.