my first real day back to work

Today was my first real 12 hour day back at work. I got up at 5:45 and left the house at 6:30. I was at work by 6:40am. I just walked in the door at 7:45pm.
I asked if I could just shadow today just to get an idea of how the day would go and to observe. It was a crazy day. We had really needy, busy patients. They were sweet but always needed something and kept us running. We ended up discharging 2 patients and getting 2 new ones. One was in a lot of pain and needing pain meds often, one was pooping non stop, one was gagging and puking and coughing up blood and luckily the other was sweet and not too bad, but his wife was a talker and it was really hard to leave the room without having a conversation. It was really busy and we sat maybe 45 minutes all day. I think it was a little abnormal. I hope so anyway.
So, what a start back to work after having a year off and even at that, I had done 8 hour shifts for the year before that. I was absolutely exhausted. I could have fallen asleep at the desk when we finally did sit down. I have fought the urge to sleep since I got home and now I am giving in. Man, I think I will like my job once I get back in the swing of things, but until then, it is going to kick my tail!

It is hard too because I am constantly comparing. It is hard now being an experienced nurse. I compare everything from our IV pump, to the way they chart, to the way my preceptor does things to how my old preceptor, Tonya, did things. Tonya was perfect to me because I knew no better. Now, I do know better and she is still so much more skilled and knowledgeable than most of the people I watch and observe. I miss my Tonya! I just hope all the good habits she taught me all come back to me so that I don't develop bad habits. There are so many unsafe habits I saw today. I hope I can not become lazy and always do what I know is right even if it takes longer or is not what everyone else does. Thanks Tonya for teaching me right the first time. You were the best preceptor!!!